Someone once sang love is a battlefield...this is not true for me it is my own mind that is my battlefield in which I wage wars against myself daily because, not to be cliché, I am my own worst enemy.

13.6.07

All or Nothing

today i have realized something that most the time i either do something wholly and completely or not at all. sure there are those time i only half way do things but those don't come up as often. sometimes i wish i could half way do things, especially at work....i hate those days that all day i'm just trying to figure out how not to work...how to justify it or at least look like i'm working. they don't happen that often(as of late there have been more then usual) but they do happen. i enjoy working, it gives me something to do during the day that has a purpose and when a project is done you can have a sense of accomplishment. i'm a goal oriented person so that means a lot to me to finish something. maybe the realizations is just me wanting to be that way, or thinking that i'm that way i'm not sure nor am i sure if it's a good or a bad thing. then again maybe i just think to much. i over analyze the things in my life especially my self. most the time the analyzing helps, sometimes that's what talks me out of doing things though. silly me. i wish i could start lots of things over but i can't i'm trying and failing to accomplish silly little things like cleaning my house and keeping clothes clean and such. i can't even keep my bank account anymore, not up to date like i used to do. as always these are just ramblings but i felt they needed to be said so i stopped mulling over them. back to work
I have spread my dreams under your feet.
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.
W. B. Yeats